I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
