Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
