Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
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