I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize