I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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