I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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