New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
