shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
This toilet bowl is my home.
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