I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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