i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
