Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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