remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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