i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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