ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
