I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
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