I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
