Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
