Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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