YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
