dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
