Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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