her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Randomize
