There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he shaved USA in his pubs
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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