she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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