I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize