I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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