I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
