we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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