**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
