If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
i just had sex bonerless
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize