sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
