Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
