i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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