don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
