Dual....:-)
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
