I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
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