Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
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