Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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