my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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