God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
