my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
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My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
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Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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