So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
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Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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