Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize