Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
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I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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