I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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