its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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