It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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