Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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