So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
