Whod you bang
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
