I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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