i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
