what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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