i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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