definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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