her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
