yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
