She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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