I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize