Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
